apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
