I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
