I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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