Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
