i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
