Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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