I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
