The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
