I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
