Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
