When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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