Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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