so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
