My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize