My cat gives me a boner
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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