So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
