Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
