Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
