Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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