I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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