Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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