did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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