i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This baby is an asshole
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
