Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
