so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
