So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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