My brain says no but my pants say off.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize