I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
