she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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