got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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