And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
