at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
