Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
