Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize