loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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