My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
