I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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