I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
