Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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