oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize