Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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