OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
