What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
