my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
