i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
