You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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