the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
