i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
