i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You can't special order awesome
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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