my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
