You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize