I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
