Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Are my feet made of real feet?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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