another moral hangover. fuck.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
