dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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