Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
