last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
