69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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