We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You work out of a Hotel?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize