Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
