these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I had to cum in my sink.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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