Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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