Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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