:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
