This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
