TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
