Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
